i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
