so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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