so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
