sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
