I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
