my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
