he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
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