The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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