I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
