hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
