i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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