Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
