I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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