so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
