How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
My feet surprised me
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