Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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