Will you blow on my dice?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
