does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
