Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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