she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
