How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
