Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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