i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
not ubering you a puppy
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
