Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
