Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Randomize
