dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I wish i was in the wii world.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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