My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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