I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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