Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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