dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
