No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Someone came in the potted fern
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize