WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
