I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
