Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
