I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
