New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
