Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
