Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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