I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
operation have a gay friend backfired
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I just had sex on a roof
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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