Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
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He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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