she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
