no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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