By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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