one might say we're banned from that church
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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