So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
