I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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