I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Also, beer. Big fan.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
