my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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