I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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