glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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